


Recovery

by Sorry_im_trash



Series: ill hold your hand if you hold mine [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Angst, Geordi Doesn't Deserve This, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this directly after watching the episode, M/M, Nightmares, Set after season 4 episode 24: The Mind's eye, Trauma, could be read as platonic but why would you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 01:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14801466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorry_im_trash/pseuds/Sorry_im_trash
Summary: Set directly after s4 ep24Geordi tries to come to terms with what was done to him





	Recovery

**Author's Note:**

> Uh. I got really emotional after this ep, but I know they won't build on this trauma cause Gene Roddenberry is a coward who won't let Geordi's character grow so I wrote this for them
> 
> I'll.. change the title if I come up with something better

The session with Troi left Geordi shaky and holding back tears. He couldn’t remember any of his time on the Romulan vessel, in fact it was hard for him to wrap his mind around the fact that all his memories of Risa were fake. All of them, planted by Romulans.

 

He had left Troi’s office the second she had let him go. It wasn’t anything personal, but he felt.. invaded, dirty almost, and he really wasn’t in the mood for having Troi too poking around there. She must have felt that, because when he started complaining about being tired and having a headache she just told him they could speak tomorrow.

 

Geordi got to his quarters, tapped his entrance code on the keypad and walked in. His room felt unreal to him, distant, like he was in a dream. A nightmare where something like this could happen. A lie that had span for days, warped his reality.

 

Getting into the bathroom Geordi took off his visor and washed his face to ground himself, but the darkness felt worse than he had thought it would. He didn’t feel alone, he felt eyes on him, watching. He felt hands in his head, moving around his brain. The Romulans had had their grip on him, they had been in his head, _changed_ him, and he couldn’t even remember any of it happening. His shaking hands gripped the edge of the sink. He had spent _days_ on Risa. Or thought he had. It had been entire days, days he couldn’t remember, on board an enemy ship. He felt dirty. His mind wasn’t his anymore, his thoughts hadn’t been his. And who knew if they still had him, if they would still be in control. God, he had almost killed someone..

 

Geordi launched himself to the toilet and proceeded to throw up all the contents of his stomach, but it didn’t do much help, just brought the awful taste of vomit into his mouth and made his limbs feel weak. Still shaking he pushed himself up, flushed the toilet, put his VISOR back on and staggered out of the bathroom to get a glass of water from the replicator.

 

The VISOR seemed _wrong_ on his head somehow. He would have to wait for them to get to a Starbase to have it properly checked out, but he was planning on asking Data to see if he could find something wrong with it. The thing that had always given him comfort, made his life easier and made it possible for him to work doing the things he loved, had been turned into a weapon against him.

 

He shook his head and put down his glass, the taste of vomit not completely gone from his mouth. He undressed and climbed into bed. He put his VISOR onto his nightstand, and fell asleep so quickly he almost would have called it a blessing. _Almost_.

 

He was sitting in engineering. He was with Data. _They_ were holding Data, but Geordi couldn’t move. Everything looked wrong. Strange. The hues were all wrong, the colors were so off Geordi had a hard time processing what he was looking at. But he knew they were holding Data, Data whose face looked wrong and who wasn’t shining like he was supposed to.

 

And then he heard the first crack.

 

They were breaking Data.

 

They were taking him apart, but not by the almost unseeable seams in his skin, but by _slicing_ and _hitting_ and _wrenching._ And Geordi could see it all but he couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, he could only watch along. Data was holding eye contact with him, and somehow Geordi knew this was all his fault.

 

He woke up shaking, drenched in sweat. Before really processing what he was doing, he heard his own voice like it was coming somewhere far away.

 

“Geord- Geordi to Data.”

 

And he heard Data’s voice from the computer answer.

 

“Yes Geordi?”

 

He wanted to say it was nothing. He wanted to apologise for calling at this late hour. He wanted to shut the communicators, let Data resume whatever he had been doing. But instead, voice shaking and tears so near he didn’t think he could hold them, his mouth seemed to work without his consent.

 

“Data… please. Please. Data..”

 

“Geordi, what is wrong?” Data’s voice sounded concerned, and Geordi wished he could ask him to just forget about it. But he had to see Data.

 

“Come here.. Data. Please…”

 

“I am coming.” The communicator bleeped, and Geordi could feel his cheeks get wet from tears. He felt like a child, weak and embarrassed. Why was he so distraught over what had only been a dream, in no way grounded in reality. And yet, he felt himself shake, he could still see Data like that. He reached for his VISOR just as the door bleeped.

 

“C-come.”

 

Data stepped in, fast, and looked distraught. Almost.. scared. “Geordi. Are you alright?”

 

Geordi pulled himself up into a sitting position, and tried to stop himself from crying. Not trusting his voice he nodded, hoping that would send Data away. No luck.

 

Data walked to his bed, carefully, almost like Geordi was an animal that had been run into a corner. He sat on the bed near Geordi, and Geordi couldn’t stop himself from gently touching Data’s hand. It was all intact. He felt himself sigh in relief, some of the tension washing from him.

“I.. I’m sorry for calling you,” Geordi bit his cheek and cursed himself for crying in front of his friend, but Data just shook his head.

 

“Did you experience a nightmare?” Geordi felt a little foolish but nodded, trying to quickly wipe his tears.

 

Data patted his hand a little awkwardly. “In the light of the recent events that could have been expected.” And then, Data’s tone softening just a little. “Is there anything I can do for you Geordi?”

 

“Hold me Data. Please.”

 

And carefully, like scared he would hurt Geordi, Data pulled him closer. Geordi took of his VISOR and let the darkness envelop him. But this time the darkness didn’t feel as hostile, and Geordi relaxed a little in Data’s hold.

 

Maybe one day Geordi and Data could talk about this. Maybe they could talk about how this was an experience they shared, how they both knew what it felt to have someone else inside your head. Maybe one day they will open up to each other. Maybe one day they would recover. But right now Data held Geordi close, Geordi listened to the sound of Data’s breathing. Right now Geordi fell asleep in Data’s arms and Data sat there with him for hours. And right now that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope my english isn't too bad, it's not my native language
> 
> One day I'll write a fic where Data get's to be held by Geordi but I relate with Geordi too much


End file.
